
I know how difficult it can be to reach out to someone you trust. Even after all these years, I still have trouble reaching out. It's not like I haven't done it before. I've reached out. I've gone to therapy. I've been on medication. I've trusted the process. When asked, I even openly share my story with others. And at other times, I've reached out to those I've never met, in hopes of helping others find their way back to freedom; freedom from the guilt, freedom from the shame, freedom to release the emotions that hold us down.
In theory, one could suggest the hard part for me is over. After all, I know the protocol. I know the next course of action. So, why does reaching out when I find myself struggling still cause me so much fear, so much anxiety? The perceived weakness. The laying down of my thoughts and emotions with friends and family. The thought of driving them away. The anger. The fear of being misunderstood. The fear of being a burden. And if I'm being completely honest, the fear of loss. My fear is being abandoned, by the people I care about, over things that are sometimes out of my control.
I'm always going to be a work in progress and that's ok. There is absolutely no shame in that...Healing is a journey. It's growth. And when you can get to the point of beginning to understand the whys, the hows, the ups, the downs, forgiveness and grace, the pain and the laughter; then the beauty of this chapter of life can begin to rise from the rubble.
~Parker
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