
I can't help but think about why I am having such a difficult time writing this post. What is standing in my way? The past three blog postings seemed to have written themselves with minimal effort, however, this post is different...I have written words and deleted them so many times, leading me to wonder if maybe I should just let this one go and revisit it at another time. But, I can't...it calls to me and I'm drawn back to it...
It's been a while since I've spent any amount of time around a horse, much less this many at once. Each member of the herd has his/her own unique story and personality. And just like our journey, theirs comes with both happy and painful reminders of where they've been and what they've seen.
Earlier that day, I had looked forward to the prospect of being in their presence, no expectations, just simply sharing open space with them. But as I walked around the grounds, I recognized in that moment, I was spiritually and emotionally disconnected not from them, but from myself...
Within that hour and a half, there were so many little moments that brought about deep thought and reflection; so much so in fact, that I could feel myself wanting to withdraw a bit. I thought about walking back to my truck and heading home because the thoughts and emotions were coming at me from all angles...and then......
A couple of the horses started to run. It was one of those moments when everything moves in slow motion. I saw the lead horse. I saw her eyes and the way her head and ears pinned back and the moment her legs began to make the motion to break into her stride. But it was that split second of silence...followed by the sound of "thunder" and the shake of the ground, the energy passing from them to me, that caught my attention. For a second, I thought about the waiver I had just signed not more than thirty minutes prior, followed by "oh shit, I'm going to get killed on my first day." However, those thoughts quickly faded and I was drawn into a clearer place in my mind where I realized my heart rate had not increased. I was not fearful of the unpredictable situation. I was still alive and present in the moment.
And so...on my first day, just being in the presence of the thundering herd showed me, if even for a second, what true inner peace, strength and beauty can look like.
~Parker
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